Love Sucks: Top 14 Anti-Valentine’s Day Movies

Are you excited about Valentine’s Day? Me neither. But don’t fear, this selection of movies will divert your attention away from that empty space in your bedroom where the chocolates, flowers and cards could, but aren’t, piling up.

14. Play Misty For Me (Eastwood, 1971)

Image result for jessica walter play misty for me

Those pesky secret Valentine’s admirers. If they’re anything like the psychopath who begins stalking Clint Eastwood’s radio DJ in Play Misty For Me, you might need more than a restraining order!

13. Rosemary’s Baby (Polanski, 1968)

Image result for Rosemary’s Baby

Okay, so you’ve found love and then what happens…your husband sells your womb to the devil and you give birth to the antichrist. Talk about irreconcilable differences!

12. The War Of The Roses (DeVito, 1989)

Image result for The War Of The Roses movie

Two hours spent in the company of a warring couple experiencing the messiest of messy divorces: does love suck – if Danny DeVito’s film starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner is anything to go by, YES IT DOES!

11. Looking For Mr. Goodbar (Brooks, 1977)

Image result for Looking For Mr. Goodbar

There’s very little romance on show in Looking For Mr. Goodbar as teacher Diane Keating prowls bars at night seeking one-night stands only to find a repressed and conflicted man take out his sexual frustration on her with brutal consequences. Romance can be deadly.

10. Kramer Vs Kramer (Benton, 1979)

Image result for dustin hoffman and meryl streep movie

Sobering, unflinching and heartbreaking, this post-marriage custody battle shines a light on a relationship when the romance is dead.

9. Switchblade Romance (Aja, 2003)

Image result for cécile de france hot

Jealousy gets a bloodied knife in Alexandre Aja’s bloody slasher Switchblade Romance. I’m not sure Cupid had this in mind when he fired the arrow, although to be fair a bladed spear would do a similar amount of damage.

8. My Bloody Valentine (Mihalka, 1981)

Image result for my bloody valentine 3d

Dark and broody, this cult favourite from the early 1980s couldn’t be more anti-Valentine’s Day with its face-masked killer seeking out anyone celebrating the day with an introduction to his already bloodied miner’s pick.

7. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (Nichols, 1966)

Image result for Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf movie

Caustically scripted and brilliantly performed, director Mike Nichols welcomes you to “romance” after marriage. Beware, he says, it’s hell!

6. Fatal Attraction (Lynn, 1987)

Image result for Fatal Attraction


Michael Douglas has made a habit of sleeping with an assortment of beautiful women in the movies only to be left joyless, alone and, in nearly every instance, afraid for his life. His affair with Glenn Close’s psychotic publishing company editor in Fatal Attraction features lots of sweaty lovemaking at the beginning only to end with bunnies being boiled and a dead body in the bath.

5. Revolutionary Road (Mendes, 2008)

Image result for Revolutionary Road movie

A relationship doomed to fail despite the protagonists being Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. What could be more anti-romantic than seeing the onscreen tragedy of this “Titanic” duo played out again?

4. Blue Valentine (Cianfrance, 2010)

Image result for blue valentine film

Once there was romance, then it went away. What’s left is a great big hollow and two people trying to figure out how to turn their lives around.

3. Shame (McQueen, 2011)

Image result for Shame movie

Michael Fassbender introduces you to a rampant, no holds barred sex life without romance. Is this the alternative to the cloying self-importance of Valentine’s Day?

2. Kill Bill (Tarantino, 2004)

Image result for Kill Bill movie

Quentin Tarantino doesn’t usually bother with romance. But when he does you’d expect it to be as bloody and violent as Kill Bill, a wonderful, toe-tapping entry into anarchy by way of Uma Thurman’s sword-wielding samurai who proceeds to slice and dice everyone responsible for trying to kill her on her wedding day, including her groom!

1. (500) Days Of Summer (Webb, 2009)

Image result for film 500 days of summer

If ever there was a manual in movie form about getting over a doomed relationship it’s 500 (Days Of Summer). If romance is going to be this stressful, who needs it!

By Dan Stephens.

Dan runs, the ultimate destination for the best movie listicles. Follow Dan’s movie musings on Twitter and Facebook.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Brilliant … love it 😍 Only I’d put Kill Bill at no 1 😂


  2. Amazing picks! I would add High Fidelity to the bunch – one of my favorite movies ever 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s