Trainwreck (15)

Remember that disastrous rom-com How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days? Well director Judd Apatow (a comedy hero of mine) has regurgitated the storyline and given us Trainwreck. A title so appropriate it’s funny. Which is a good job because the movie isn’t.

First off let’s get one thing straight I hate rom-coms. They always dumb down the female lead and are so god damn predictable.

“I’m just a modern chick who does what she wants” states our lead character Amy (Amy Schumer). No you really aren’t, you’re a cliché and a poor one at that.

The below storyline is the same in literally all rom-coms, Trainwreck included.

There’s always a girl struggling at work who doesn’t have a boyfriend. She often ends up with some eye candy at the end of a night out and in the morning is left contemplating how terrible her life is. But that all changes when she meets her dream man. Everything is great for a while as she hides her personality traits, but eventually those bad boys rear their ugly heads.

Then there’s the inevitable big fight. Cue lots of shots of them both sulking and alone in their individual apartments. You know when the girl hits bottom because she starts chowing down on one of those giant tubs of ice cream.

Next there’s the realisation that her life sucks. She figures something’s got to give. So she gets her shit together, cleans the countless empty ice creams tubs and pizza boxes from her apartment and sorts her job situation out. But her career isn’t the most important thing; no she must get her man back.

Here comes the most vom-tastic moment. There’s a race to the airport before he leaves the country, a wedding to crash or the worst of all a big gesture, all in a bid to win back the guy. Girl please, don’t degrade yourself.

Trainwreck is based upon the myth that monogamy isn’t realistic. But in fact it just highlights how thin these cliché-ridden rom-coms can be stretched.

Apatow is normally ace  but Trainwreck is nothing more than a lukewarm version of a 12 year old movie.  Amy Schumer didn’t rock my world. She’s like a poor man’s Kristen Wiig and we already have Bridesmaids to show us how apparently depressing being single can be.

We should be celebrating how kick ass women are in movies rather than making them out to be nothing more than emotionally-challenged baby making machines only happy when they find ‘the one’. Like a guy’s gonna rock up and fix all your problems with his penis. Now that isn’t realistic.

By Ruth Walker

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