Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (12A)

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is back for yet another round of ridiculous shenanigans. But is this one mission he can’t complete?

Firstly let’s get one thing straight, I can’t stand Tom Cruise. All that Scientology jazz he spurts out is fine by me, go ahead mate, but he’s still a naff actor. In fact my talented Brother-In-Law Mark wrote a guest post on the Top Ten Tom Cruise Moves because I couldn’t bring myself to. If you’re a big Cruise fan it’s well worth taking a read.

Back in 1996 when Cruise was in top form he starred in the first Mission: Impossible movie. People loved it, myself included. After all movies like Top Gun, Jerry Maguire and Risky Business had made him a household name. But then he started starring in utter shite like Vanilla Sky, Tropic Thunder and most recently Knight and Day, Jack Reacher and Edge of Tomorrow.

At this point in the review my head is in my hands, remembering the hours of my life that I wasted watching that drivel.

Every Mission: Impossible becomes more watered down than the last. Eventually we’ll just be left with a husk of movie and hopefully then Cruise will stop directing and starring in them.

This time around we see Ethan as he attempts to expose an undercover organisation known only as ‘The Syndicate’. The Syndicate is a network of highly skilled operatives dedicated to forming a new world order by escalating a series of terrorist attacks.

With the help of his trusted sidekick Benji (Simon Pegg) Ethan hopes to bring the organisation to its knees. But there’s a spanner in the works. The head of the CIA (Played by 30 Rock’s lovable Alec Baldwin) gets the IMF shut down after he points out that their catastrophe to victory ratio isn’t too hot.

With the IMF disbanded Ethan goes dark for six months, leaving Benji and fellow agent William Brandt (Jeremy Renner) to fend for themselves. But he isn’t on vacation; he’s tracking down the head of The Syndicate. But he’s got company in the form of Isla Faust (Rebecca Ferguson), an agent whose objective is to deter him at any cost.

Could this be the team’s most impossible mission yet?

Rogue Nation has all the intellect of a gnat. It shows Ethan clinging desperately to a plane during take-off in an attempt to win another mission. Perhaps it’s a metaphor for the franchise, Cruise latching on to an idea that no one wants to run with any more. In another utterly ridiculous scene we watch as a motorcycle chase turns ugly. An assassin is knocked off his bike and without provocation it explodes.

Jeremy Renner runs around the entire movie looking perplexed as if he can’t quite remember what he’s starring in. Sure he knows it’s not The Avengers, but he just can’t put his finger on it.

Simon Pegg plays his part of the affable sidekick as best he can, but in the end he’s just a poor man’s Q; less witty, more bumbling and lacking the impressive gadgetry.

If you have given up on action movies and fancy a laugh then go see it. But if you’re looking for a movie with intelligent plot twists and bucket-loads of action sequences then this isn’t the one for you. It certainly wasn’t for me.

It completely lacks intrigue, like the fact that no matter what happens Ethan will survive, I mean come one, this guy just won’t quit,

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation goes through all the motions of its predecessors but fails to deliver a good plot. It’s as though the franchise is in self-destruct mode. Here’s hoping.

By Ruth Walker

★★☆☆☆

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