Ted 2 (15)

The Thunder Buddies are back. But can the duo re-create the magic of the 2012 record-breaking original? If you’re looking for a quick answer then this is not the review you are looking for.

First we need to go back to 2012 and remind ourselves how baller the first movie was.

Ted had Mila Kunis. I mean come on; the woman’s a stone cold fox. The humour was outrageous and it starred the legend that is Sam J. Jones aka Flash Gordon. Jessica Barth aka trailer park trash Tami Lynn couldn’t act for shit but she made up for it in other ways. Even Giovanni Ribisi’s creepy dancing failed to damage the movie.

This time around Mila has been binned off and replaced with the real-life Gollum, bug-eyed Amanda Seyfried. But at least Flash and Giovanni are back and determine to fuck shit up again.

John (Mark Wahlberg) and Lori (Mila Kunis) have been divorced for 2 years; meanwhile Ted (Seth MacFarlane) and his skankalicious girlfriend Tami Lynn (Jessica Barth) are about tie the knot. John can’t shake the fact that him and Lori are over. He doesn’t think he can get anyone as good…and he’s kind of right.

When Ted and Tami Lynn’s marriage hits the rocks our furry friend comes up with the solution to fix everything, to have a baby. But there’s one huge problem, Ted doesn’t have a penis. In fact he’s as smooth as a Ken doll down there.

After a gag-inducing visit to a sperm bank in search of a donor goes terribly wrong Ted and John leave prematurely. The only option left is to adopt a child, but after it’s revealed that Ted isn’t classed as a human that fails too.

Ted and John decide to fight the system and go to court to defend Ted’s human rights. No decent lawyer will take their case so they end up with the stoner version of Ally McBeal, Sam L. Jackson (Amanda Seyfried). The trio bond over their love of pot and begin their battle against the courts.

Meanwhile Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), the creepy-ass guy from the original, is in cahoots with an evil toy manufacturer to capture Ted and uncover the secret of his existence.

Is it time to put Ted to bed? Perhaps, but it’s the nature of the beast. We’ll always want to want to see more of the Thunder Buddies until we don’t want to see them ever again. All I know is that Ted 2 is uncompromisingly silly, making it a must-see.

By Ruth Walker
★★★★☆

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